Not for the faint hearted: A Guide for Shopping on Oxford Street

My guide to shopping on Oxford Street:


  • Do go there for the one off/limited ranges – basically anything you see on TV shows like This Morning, or for that Primark version of the Balenciaga bag. Oxford Street will have it. Hull won’t.
  • Do go there for a wide range of high street shops – If they’re not on Oxford street then they haven’t made it yet so probably aren’t worth a visit anyway*
  • Do brush up on your language skills (French/ German/Spanish/ Essex) Learning how to say phrases such as: Excuse me can you not walk so slowly/Oi you just knocked my Starbucks/HELP ME! …will be highly useful.
  • Do apply the same rules for riding Nemesis as entering Oxford Street you have to be over a certain height (i.e. the less children the better) and be brave.


  • Don’t go try things on- buy them try them on in the sanctity of you own abode – you’ll only end up queuing for an eternity at the fitting room only to do the same at the till point…yawn.
  • Don’t be a fool. Don’t for example believe that man is selling perfume for “Free”. He’s not. Those people outside his stall are paid to stand there too. Think about it, he wouldn’t be able to pay them if his perfume was free.
  • Don’t go without a game plan- you cannot ‘amble’ round with friends on a Saturday afternoon. Know what you want and where you want it from. Oxford street is for serious shoppers.

*this applies solely to chains


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